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Top Twenty Jarvis Varnado Facts

SEC Mississippi St Tennessee BasketballAll-SEC Center Jarvis Varnado has set a new standard for defensive prowess, breaking Shaquille O’neal’s single season record for blocked shots. His accomplishments have not gone unnoticed by UW Husky Nation. Here are some other facts they uncovered in their pre-game research …

1) When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Jarvis Varnado.

2) Jarvis Varnado once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

3) Jarvis Varnado is the reason that Waldo is hiding.

4) Outer space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Jarvis Varnado.

5) There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Jarvis Varnado.

6) Jarvis Varnado does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Jarvis Varnado goes killing.

7) Chuck Norris wears Jarvis Varnado pajamas.

8) When Jarvis Varnado falls in water, Jarvis Varnado doesn’t get wet. Water gets Jarvis Varnado.

9) Jarvis Varnado can kill 2 stones with 1 bird.

10) “Varnado is a cross between a volcano and a tornado.. we are so screwed”.

11) Jarvis Varnado’s calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jarvis Varnado.

12) Superman’s only weakness is Kryptonite. Jarvis Varnado laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

13) There’s Jarvis Varnado, then there’s 64 other teams he lets into his tournament

14) Jarvis Varnado’s tears can cure cancer. But Jarvis Varnado has never cried.

15) If you have five dollars and Jarvis Varnado has five dollars, Varnado has more money than you do.

16) Jarvis Varnado is suing MySpace for taking the name of what he calls the area around the basket.

17) 2/3 of the earth is covered by water. The other 1/3 is covered by Jarvis Varnado.

18) Latest News Report from NASA … Last week NASA discovered a giant asteroid headed directly for earth. Jarvis Varnado swatted it and saved the planet. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

19) Jarvis Varnado could strangle you with a cordless phone.

20) President Obama has decided to rescind his stimulus plan b/c he knows Jarvis’s SWAT’s will be so powerful the ripple effects will jumpstart the economy.

Happy New Year

Best wishes for a happy and prosperous new year.

blackeye-peas

Weekend open thread

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SEC Coaching Carousel

The news breaking out of Auburn is that Tommy Tuberville is out as head football coach.

Rumors are swirling about Tubs’ possible replacement, including Bobby Petrino, Mike Leach, and Chris Petersen. Sources tell us Petrino is reportedly “not interested”, and Petersen is still considered a longshot. Attention is centering on Leach, who is said to be interested in coming back to the SEC after a very successful run at Texas Tech.

But, the BEST rumor I’ve heard is this: Tuberville goes to Mississippi State, Auburn goes after Houston Nutt, and the Ole Miss faithful end up at Whitfield.

Update:  ESPN has it now.

Henh.

It’s up to the Christians

I was reading an article over at  Politico a few days ago which talked about obama’s appeal to white, church-going Christians. Or, should I say, his lack of appeal to white, church-going Christians.

In spite of all that has been written and talked about the obama outreach effort to evangelical voters, only 28% if this large demographic group is planning to vote for obama. In fact, that number is slightly less than John Kerry received 4 years ago. How significant is this? The evangelical vote is about one third of the electorate. This is good news for John McCain.

Should anyone be surprised? I really don’t think so.

The obama campaign is offensive to Christians on many levels. Certainly the Right to Life is a large part of that. Even more so, I think, is the messiah-like worship that obama’s supporters have given to him. 0bama himself has done nothing at all to discourage them, and actually seems to revel in it.

It is the type of behavior that leaves a large portion of the evangelical right wondering if we are seeing the rise of the antichrist.

I don’t use those words easily, and just seeing them on screen gives me pause.

He can still be defeated.

This year, more than ever, it is up to the Christians.

Text of the Bailout Plan

Here is the text of the massive new RTC-type bailout plan proposed by Sec Hank Paulson.

LEGISLATIVE PROPOSAL FOR TREASURY AUTHORITY

TO PURCHASE MORTGAGE-RELATED ASSETS

Section 1. Short Title.

This Act may be cited as ____________________.

Sec. 2. Purchases of Mortgage-Related Assets.

(a) Authority to Purchase.–The Secretary is authorized to purchase, and to make and fund commitments to purchase, on such terms and conditions as determined by the Secretary, mortgage-related assets from any financial institution having its headquarters in the United States.

(b) Necessary Actions.–The Secretary is authorized to take such actions as the Secretary deems necessary to carry out the authorities in this Act, including, without limitation:

(1) appointing such employees as may be required to carry out the authorities in this Act and defining their duties;

(2) entering into contracts, including contracts for services authorized by section 3109 of title 5, United States Code, without regard to any other provision of law regarding public contracts;

(3) designating financial institutions as financial agents of the Government, and they shall perform all such reasonable duties related to this Act as financial agents of the Government as may be required of them;

(4) establishing vehicles that are authorized, subject to supervision by the Secretary, to purchase mortgage-related assets and issue obligations; and

(5) issuing such regulations and other guidance as may be necessary or appropriate to define terms or carry out the authorities of this Act.

Sec. 3. Considerations.

In exercising the authorities granted in this Act, the Secretary shall take into consideration means for–

(1) providing stability or preventing disruption to the financial markets or banking system; and

(2) protecting the taxpayer.

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